The Journey of a 180 stable (dealing with friends and family)
I thought i would do a post about a problem that poeple have mostly when their starting out and few people have even when their
a little more successful. That problem is the family and friends support. This a problem that I would say maybe half the pokers players
i Know have suffered from this is usually occurs in religious or very old fashioned families.
The most important thing to know about people when its comes to money and working full time is that everyone has a belief system. These beliefs are very strong like religion and people dont change them. This is important to know when people will question your decision with poker and challenge you. people believe that working 9-5 in a job for someone else for limited pay and doing a job you don't like is the CORRECT way to live. They may of lived by this for 30-40+ years so be careful. Your believe as a poker player oblviously contradicts these
believes. Like religion Neither belief is wrong but you decide which one you follow.
The do nots
Do not fight fire with fire. This is a mistake your probably make right at the start and is a real newbie mistake. if people have a bad view
of poker they arent going to like the fact you are trying to make a living from it. they could be pretty out spoken and aggressive with their views.
If you try and do the same either throwing their questions back or questioning their job as well, the arguement gets worse and gets harder for you to win.
Do not be PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, for example brag. "look at my car,clothes, house or bank account" This may win an agruement or shut someone up for a some short amount of time but in the long run it doesn't help. Firstly it makes you look arrogant, big headed and show off. No one likes those qualities in a friend or family member. Your most likely just be pushing people away and damaging relationships. Poker is not work creating enemies in these circles. Secondly it maybe misunderstood as saying my life and beliefs are better than yours and here the proof. Like religion no one would like to be proved their religion is wrong and probably end up pretty offended.
Question to avoid
"so hows poker going?" This is a trap and most likely an chance for someone to undermine or critise poker. If you answer. " well im on a downswing or break even stretch" we pretty much the their response will be like blood in the water to a shark. if you answer "yeah its going well, I made $x this week/month" this will be followed by them with a patronising "well thats lucky" or i hope you don't lose it all" which means they just consider you an out control, lucky gambler.
I found the best answer was "ok not bad...paying the bills" and acting distant or changing the subject. just not giving them any ammo to start an arguement so they can reinforce their believes.
Best way to act.
Never talk about money or how great things are going for you. Just incase people see this as some form of aggression or an invite to argue. It is ok to talk about poker and it helps a lot if you talk about it as if it was a job and you take it very seriously. This helps you lose the tag of lazy ass gambler. If you are like me a like to use your poker money to travel again try not to make a big deal out of it so again not bragging. Try to be down to earth and disconnected from your success so that people dont feel bad about working normal paid jobs and challenged about their way of life..
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