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From some nameless low/midstakes reg to fucking balling legend

I finally gained the balls to overcome(or at least try to and idealy never stop) a lot of shit which I created in my head. This is the start of my transformation...not only as a poker player but as a man in general.

So some short intro...I started to take poker more seriously at the beginning of 2k13. Played STTs Turbos mainly 15s then I fell in comfort zone and did not want to go out of it. Which meant I basically stopped developing as a player or at least it significantly influenced the speed of my progress.

The truth is I was a really balless piece of shit. I remember how scared I was to start playing 30s 9mans...may mouse hand was shaking and almost whole body, focus 0, result oriented thinking 100%...I did not want to play...constantly looked for reasons not to play at all or not to register higher stakes games... or not to learn any new formats.

It was really bad mindset, but that does not matter now. I went through this and now I know, that It was really huge mistake waiting for so long to play higher stakes or to learn ne formats. Think I gained great experience and after realizing these errors I started to becoming completely different player and person.

So at the beginnig of 2k14 started to learn new format, which gave me a lot. Take a lot of coachings which also helped me. Was motivated to play but suddenly around March I was really down...did not want to play again or study...no drive...nothing...lost my routinne. And this lasts to present moment.

Now I am really pissed off about myself, which is the greatest thing I could hope for...FINALLY!!! I am so angry, that I am about to take an action - not some huge crazy beastmode, but nice, calm approach with smile on my face eynjoying majority of time I am studying/playing (ideally :D).

I know, that falling down is absolutely natural If I want to achieve smthing...its simply vital part of making any progress. So its completely insane to be fearfull of failure...because imo with the right attitude there is no such a thing as loss or failure...I win = nice :), I loose = nice, I become more experienced and ideally know what to do better next time...so hANsi dont be weak stupid average human who has enormous fear to do smthing which will take him from out of comfort zone.

IMO mentally I am stronger than ever...I really thought about the last couple of months which I played and I found a lot of mistakes...I would state the major one:

I became comfortable with what I had. Was paralyzed by fear. Did not have the balls to try it. Looked for ways to avoid any bumps on the road...basically I was really succesfully slowing down the progress.

From now on I will do the things I fear at the first place...I will start to play higher limits 9mans...moving up to 60s and also move up in 18mans to 30s. I will also try to develop which I called "ballsy mindset"

=ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF ANYTHING WHICH IS HAPPENING, DO NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED OR WHAT CAN HAPPEN, JUST GET OUT THERE, GRAB THE BALLS, DO THE BEST YOU CAN...JUST FUCK IT! SHIP IT!

What if I run bad?

- I can always move down, have a good roll and this is the best moment for taking risks.

Of course it will not be easy, but easy things are shitty things...and I dont wanna be some shitty average player, I wanna be and I 100% believe I will be one of the greatest who has ever played this game(sure it might sound crazy, but imo there is no reason to take part in competitive environment whithout a goal to be the best a kick assess :D)...there is only one uncertain thing...how much time does it take...because I will never give up! NEVER!

"If you cant run, walk. If cou cant walk, than crawl. If you cant crawl, do everything you can, but keep moving forward!" 

 

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