- SNGs: 773
- Hours: 30.8
- VPPs: 7.424k
It was the first week after a vacation so I was 100% ready to grind and also was really dissapointed about myself, cause I was lazy piece of shit, who did not even hit 1k SNGs last month, which is just sad and it drives me mad.
I realized that If I want to be TOP REG winning 10k/month, I need to start doing smthing...so I finally sat down and grinded like never this year. I am satisfied with this week so much...played the most hours, the most SNGs and the most VPPs...The other thing is profit, but right now I want to develop mindset where I will just play, everytime try to do the best and dont care too much about results...because everybody knows who is the king in the shorterm :)
This is the KEY thing for me right now. I was always scared to play higher limits therefore I developed slower - one of the biggest mistake I have done. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting deifferent results...and here we go...At this moment I am comfortable playing 15s 9m + 18m, getting comfortable playing 30s 9m and I should start playing 30s 18mans, but have the same feeling as always..."you are not ready!..."you should learn more about ICM, r/c ranges and especially calling ranges..." my brain is telling me...Fortunately I not only know it but I am cable of accepting it, that "...there will never ever be the perfect time..."
The plan is just look into my trousers...find out that I am actually a man with some balls, not some wet pussy and start balling higher stakes.
It might be painful and from what I saw...did a little research of 18man regs...found out that the variance is naturally much bigger than in 9mans so it will be some challenge for my mindset and it will make me stronger (or kill me :D)
The thing is that when I play higher stakes where I dont have enough games played I am too much result oriented. I tend to sweat ALL INS, when I loose feel bad = big problem
I need to realize that the guy who sucked my AA with 22 is not lucky...its not luck...just a fucking mathematics...he has 20%, therefore naturally he has the claim to win 1 in 5...everytime I win my AA I win 20% of pot which does not belong to me.
I know it now that its stupid and really weak to whine about some suckouts cause its the inavitable part of the game, but in game esp. in higher stakes on the bubbles I am still not able to accept this reality.
And this is the GOAL to the next week...Play a lots of poker, enjoy every moment of playing, enjoy that you can play higher games, to face tougher opponents, to be more tested...enjoy the proccess of becoming better and better...just dont care about anything and enjoy everything :)
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