My poker journal
So I decided to start blogging again, its been a while since I did that and I used to write a lot. I feel like writing it all down really helps categorize everything in your head and it is something you can look back at and reflect on. For those who dont know me I am a 26 y/o student and I have been playing poker since early 2009, though despite of time and effort I put in it, I didn`t achieve a lot of success, but I am still on a grind and still believe that I can make it.
For a very long time I have played the blame game. There was a time when I believed that the variance is my biggest enemy, then I believed that my opponents miraculously became a lot better. Finally, I started blaming myself for not performing better and I believed that I am just stupid for not being able to beat those games. After a while I ended up hating poker for what it made me feel towards myself and I quit. After that I didnt play a single game for more than a year. During that period as my mental state improved I started to see more clearly that poker was not the reason why a lot of bad thing happened to me. It was me not having the proper tools for the job. When I started playing poker, I studied a lot and the understanding of certain mechanics came quite quickly to me, but there were other aspects I couldn`t grasp. Simple variance seemed like a mystery to me, I felt like if I made this much this month, there is nothing that could stop me from doing it the following month. I didnt know how long the variance can carry you even when you dont play all that well and how important is to continuously look at your game and analyze every aspect of it.
I have tried a decent amount of things in life, enjoyed some, hated some, get tired of other. Playing poker is something I still enjoy and never get tired of, despite of everything I went through. I am done trying to make fast money, jumping from one thing to another, I am buckling down and preparing for the long game. It wont be easy, but as long as I acquire the proper tools for the job, I believe I can do it.
Have great Sunday!
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