I was prepared
Its been a while since i last blogged, but my online poker results took a disasterous turn for the worst. Iv had an incredibly difficult time online since March getting back from APAC.
My graph has taken a huge dive and i won't lie, it really destroyed my confidence. I went from feeling absolutley gutted and blaming it on bad luck to blaming it on myself for not being smart enough to beat the games, then to the games for being reg infested to high hell and being unbeatable. I went through multiple stages of denial. You see the hardest part of playing hypers isn't necessarily players, its (like many people always point out) the emotional side of things. I generally am a pretty level headed guy but after losing for 3 months straight, and actually working my guts out in studying my results have been some what crippling to my mentality on the game as far as being able to put in long sessions goes, i find myself staring at the graphs and feeling like a dark cloud has come over me that refuses to leave etc.
Im quiet aware of the brutality that is hyper turbo sngs and i know how horrible the variance can be so im not in any way surprised when i look at other regs graphs and see the same results as what im having. Never the less its still hard to go through. Every downswing makes you stronger as a player and being able to come out of a downswing boosts your long term confidence as well as makes you realise the next downswing at similar limits is not that bad.
At current iv gone from being at a high of $13,492 in profit to now being down -$16,433 for a total downswing of $29,925 pre rakeback for the year. Coupled with MTTs and im losing for the year (with exception to live poker). My sample since the downswing started is only 8000 games so i am also well aware of how the sample size is pretty small in comparison to other regs, even ones on this site. Its more or less the actual numbers that are what i am struggling to come to terms with at the moment.
Iv found myself studying harder than ever as everybody always does during downswings, and like in wars with technology i feel my game advances drastically every downswing as opposed to upswing.
Fortunatley as planned earlier this year i was ready for any downswing and kept some money on the side to pay for regular things for a while so i should be ok for that.
I studied quiet hard into nash and now find that my nash ranges are actually surprising me as to how thinly i can now stack off profitably.
SCOOP is over which is actually a relief and while i didn't manage to break through in anything, i did manage to bubble 3 majors (10th) in that period of time for a sweat, as well as see some regs in the stable im in win big (CONGRATZ NBK_oli!).
The next 2 weeks will be painful in terms of free time with exams for my paper comming up as well as the NZ poker open followed by an ungodly volume to catch up on SNE pace, i only achieved 55k VPPS this month which was not what i wanted to achieve but at the same time a far better increase in vpps per month in comparison to any other month iv ever had.
These next few months should be interesting, goodluck all
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